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When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now, will you stil need me?  

I am older, fact of life, have lost some hair.  In fanciful world, I imagine myself younger, prettier, full-maned.  

Okay, let me point out a few things: I am 58, not far from 59.  I'm very tall - 6'4 almost!  I'm pretty thin, but 180 doesn't really sound all that girly light.  I have nice hair, but it's embarrassingly thin on top now.  I am married.  I am stuck.  A few years ago, I started seeing a therapist.  He recommended HT, and my doctor prescribed them (reluctantly).  I was growing breasts, experiencing other changes, considering transitioning.  I talked things over with my wife, but, truthfully, it was hard for me to be open, and I just kinda shut up about it.  

Then a had some clots, blood clots, in my legs, my pelvis, my lung.  No more hormones.  I looked at death as an all too possible sudden event.  I stopped everything.  I prayed.  My wife felt like she had me back, maybe.  I had a new edge to depression.  

The odds of dying are extremely high the first month after a pulmonary embolism - blood clot that moves into a lung.  That was an extremely painful condition.  It was like having broken ribs in my chest.  I had to brace for every forced breath.  The doctor said it was a small clot, and not life-threatening, but he hadn't felt it from my side.  So I went on blood thinners, and I'll be on blood thinners rest of my life.  It's beena year and 10 months; my odds of living are nearly normal, except that a fall or bump could cause severe internal bleeding.  If some drunk dummy at a bar whacks me in the head, he'll likely be up on murder charges.  But, other than that, life goes on, and I could still end up being an old...person.

Everyone has to make their own decision about coming out, and transitioning.  It's an extremely hard and personal decision.  Nobody should be pressuring anybody.  And everybody is to be honored and respected in whatever choice they make.  

After all I've been through, I'm stil no where.  Good luck to you all!